Recs & Links
some things for your (hopefully) slow summer days
Hi friends! Welcome to Be Where You Are, my newsletter about how to use writing and mindfulness to be where you are. I’m the author of the poetry collections, The Falls and Feed. I’m happy that you’re here.
I’m currently in the throes of a cross-country move from Pittsburgh to Los Angeles with my family. I’m deep in the cleaning out process of our house of 12 years + my entire life because I have somehow *never* actually sorted through my boxes of cards, photos, elaborately folded notes from middle school, lanyards from summer camp jobs ETCETCETC. This is also my first move since having kids (if you’ve survived this and have wisdom to share with me, please do!) I haven’t felt this mentally, emotionally, and physically scattered in a long time. I’m trying to take my own advice and be where I am.
Where I am is combing through a dusty box of stuff that would make Marie Kondo shudder, and scraping stickers from the toddler years off walls, doors, and car windows with the citrus-y cocktail Goo Gone. (I’m super annoyed with Past Emily for letting the kids put these stickers on just to get a few minutes of time even though I also understand fully why she did it).
Where I am is flying through random piles of papers then finding a card from someone who died years ago and suddenly bursting into tears, overwhelmed by a flood of memories.
Where I am is sitting next to my son, watching him play the Roblox game Crazy Stairs because all he wants is to tell me all about it as he plays. I should be doing ten other things but it is where I need to be now.
Where I am is texting friends and family old pictures and wondering if I was ever that young, and was that person the same person I am now? Where I am is thinking about the continuity of the self and the multiplicity of the self, then getting interrupted and making a snack for someone.
Where I am is still angry with the writers of Bluey (spoiler alert!) for that recent episode in which the family plans to move for the dad’s job and has these rich conversations about how to handle the big emotions and what they can learn from the process, then turns around and decides to stay.
I sometimes say to my students: there is a time for living and “filling the well,” as my friend Jen says, and there is a time for writing.
I am in a time for living.
And yet, ideas and images pop into my head like darting fish and I try to catch them in my Notes app. Trust that I will come back to the words later.
Maybe this moment in your summer is also a time for living? Maybe you’re having some really spacious time at a retreat and leaning into it. Maybe you’re juggling all the things with work and life and kids at home, doing what you need to do for you in the scant minutes they’re napping or watching their show.
Either way, here are some recs & links for you, and at the end, a Slow it Down thread. 💛
LISTEN
This Kishi Bashi song, “Colorful State,” is one of the most saudade-inducing songs there is—sublimely perfect for going through boxes of old heartbreaks and joys and letters and ephemera.
I loved this interview with Anne Lamott by Elise Loehnen at Pulling the Thread (which I highly recommend): “I tell all my Sunday school kids this. There's a little girl who's having a terrible time falling asleep, and she keeps calling for her mom to come in. Her mom comes in the first couple times. She's sweet and friendly. “Oh, don't be afraid. God is here with you. You're not alone.” And then leaves. After about five minutes, the little girl calls for her again, and the mother grows increasingly more impatient, and just to make a long story sort of short, the last time she comes in, she goes, “You're not alone. God is here with you in this room.” And, the little girl says in a tiny voice, “I need someone with skin on.” And of course I tell it because I think that's who we're called to be in the world is God, God's love with skin on.”
Loved this interview with Mia Birdsong at 10% Happier; I just started her book, How We Show Up: Reclaiming Family, Friendship, and Community (2020) and I’m enjoying it immensely so far.
This song is lifting me up right now: “Housewarming: The New Recording” by Lucius w/Brandi Carlile: listen here on Spotify and watch this reel with the trio serenading a sweet babe (someone in the comments said, “this is medicine” and yes it is) xo
READ
Cassie Pruyn has four stunning new poems in Cutleaf! You must go read them now: “My womb is ever- // expanding, like the skin of the universe. Who contains whom? / Your very first room.”
Heather Lanier’s recent essay, “Walking the Wrong Way through Mary Cassatt” is lyrical and thought-provoking as usual (& I love that she mentions that her kids were on screens in order for her to have time to write this): “There is tenderness. There is love. There is also boredom. There is bowing to the altar of need. There are also the costs. Raw nipples, for one. Big thoughts lost to sleeplessness, another. And there is breaking at that altar, needing others to come help.”
I loved this essay by Camille Dungy, “From Dirt”: “Where there appears to be only dirt, there may be the root system of some kind of insistent thriving.” Her book SOIL: The Story of a Black Mother’s Garden is up next on my reading list.
Kathryn Barbash (clinical psychologist, writer, and mom) writes one of my favorite substack newsletters, Mindful Mom in the Mud, and I just re-read this piece I love: “Tired Parents Can’t Meditate on a Mountaintop: What does bringing mindfulness into your real life parenthood look like?”
This Trey Moody poem: “I don’t know who needs to hear this / other than me, but the moon will never leave / you”
Two books I’m very excited for are open for pre-orders now: Violeta Garcia Mendoza’s debut poetry collection, Songs for the Land-Bound (June Road Press, Sept 2024) and Nancy Reddy’s The Good Mother Myth (Jan 2025) *Pre-orders are so important for authors and presses; if you’re planning to buy these books, please considering pre-ordering them!
WATCH
Aftersun (2022): Holy wow, Paul Mescal and Frankie Corio are brilliance personified in this rich, dreamy portrait of a father and daughter on vacation in Turkey in the late ‘90s (watch the trailer here)
Caitlin Murray’s Big Time Adulting reels: Required viewing for all parents, especially those struggling, like me, through the kids-at-home-for-amorphous-summer-days saying “I’m booooored” and “I need a snack” every two minutes. My sister-in-law said the other day when I sent her one: “She is a national treasure.” TRUTH.
If you want a wonderful short film, try Sing (Mendiki) (2016). It’s a Hungarian short with riveting writing and acting and a complex depiction of kids as complex beings with agency. You can watch it HERE (25 mins).
GO
The Hemingway’s Poetry Series, the storied Pittsburgh reading series founded by Jimmy Cvetic, is celebrating its 50th anniversary this summer! So, this Tues, July 9th: Come out to the new location at Hop Farm Brewing Co in Lawrenceville to hear Jen Ashburn, Taylor Grieshober, Sharon Fagan McDermott, Romella Kitchens & Robert Yune!
Fri, July 12th (in Pittsburgh): Sarah Shotland will be a guest writer for Sherrie Flick’s July Walk & Write program in collaboration with Shiftworks Community + Public Arts. 7:00-8:30 p.m. EDT. Starting point: the parking lot of the Western State Penitentiary; 1922 Westhall Street, Pittsburgh, PA (Manchester neighborhood). $10. Tickets and complete information here.
Sun, July 28th: Jodie Free and Derrick Jones are co-facilitating “Mindful Writing: Cultivating Creativity Through Mindfulness (Nature Theme)” at the JCC of Greater Pittsburgh (and on zoom!) from 3-5 EDT. Participants will be guided through meditation and creative writing prompts to find focus, experiment with word choice, and discover inner landscapes. Writers and meditators of all levels and backgrounds are welcome. Sponsored by Awake Pittsburgh. Free and open to the public. Register here.
SLOW IT DOWN THREAD
I just found the original slow it down post-it note from my friend, Danielle (^^) that inspired this mini-essay and prompt. Summer is supposed to be a slower time for god’s sake. SO, how have you slowed it down lately? Please share in the comments!
I've been hanging out on my porch more often. I often forget to go outside and if I do, I feel like I have to DO something all the time. When I sit even for a few minutes without looking at my phone or doing something, it slows time down. Helps me remember that I live in a body that needs to breathe and rest.
Sending so much love and energy your way as you embark on this big move (and deal with all the logistics, and sorting, and packing, and feeling, and shepherding your kids through their feelings too).
I always love your rec posts. And thank you for including my book’s pre-order! ❤️