I spent yesterday swimming with my kids and getting pelted in the face with these little water balloon toys. It’s officially summer, and I’ve been swinging between rocking out to Bananarama’s “Cruel Summer,” losing my phone and reading more, and being utterly paralyzed by the reality in our country and world right now. When I get precious minutes to write, I’ve been struggling hugely to get into that creative space because things feel pretty impossible. But I still believe Maxine Hong Kingston’s words: “In a time of destruction, create something: a poem, a parade, a community, a school, a vow, a moral principle; one peaceful moment.”
If I’m going to keep my hand in with my writing and meditation practices, I have to change the terms somehow.
I was flailing around the other day when I remembered the advice I often give my writing students: “Keep the channel open.” This advice comes from the legendary dancer, Martha Graham, and the whole quotation is here:
“There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction whatsoever at any time. There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.”
—Martha Graham
There’s so much to love in here! I could write a whole essay teasing apart what I love (not comparing! there is only one of you in all time! a queer, divine dissatisfaction!)
But for now, I’ll just say: the part I’m clinging to is, “You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you.”
This makes my summer goals feel much more manageable (other than finishing the damn book proposal I really need to finish)…I just need to stay open and aware directly to the urges that motivate me. I don’t have to draft a ton of new work this summer. I don’t have to do sitting meditation for 20 minutes every day. Some days I might, but most days I won’t. Things will look different from my ideal vision.
I need to stay open and aware to the urges that motivate me. I can do that.
A Prompt for you
What resonates most for you in this quotation?
How can you keep the channel open? List out a few ways that come to mind.
If you’re going into a more chaotic season, spend some time thinking about what your days will realistically look like. When in your day might you be able to take a little time for your creative self to keep the channel open? (Something is better than nothing).
Could you change your materials up so that you can create in a different way (taking a tiny notebook with you and seeing this time as just noticing or taking notes, talking into your phone, etc?) Can you scale down the production goal and focus more on the process for now? What would that look like? Name some specifics.
What else does this quotation bring up for you? Write/create into it…
I’d love to know: How does this quotation strike you? How are you trying to keep the channel open this season? Tell us in the comments.
Good News & Events from Be Where You Are contributors
Lisa Alexander was just interviewed by at The Long Pause & it’s very much worth a read: “Writing accompanies my existence. It helps me make sense of it, praise it, challenge it, or fuck around with it to see what else there is to see. But I write when I write. I don’t when I don’t. It’s as simple as that.”
Han VanderHart is teaching two online Generative Writing Workshops on Finding Shape in the Dark (on writing difficult narratives): July 5th and July 19th. Details HERE.
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What I love in here in Graham’s quote is the honesty about how we sometimes look at our own work and really think it’s not that great. I know that we’re supposed to tell ourselves (and expect our friends to tell us) “no, no, the work is GREAT” but the reality is that sometimes it’s not. And it doesn’t have to be great, or even good, all the time.
This post really spoke to me, Emily, as I’ve also been wrestling with feeling a bit stuck as we shift into mid summer. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing this Martha Graham quote! How incredible! Right now, I am moved by the create-first energy in this: “It is not your business to determine how good it is” - reminding me to get out of my own way and just be open to the work.
Also, how great is “No artist is pleased.” I love this sense of community in dissatisfaction!