"I think of poetry as my bridge across the abyss"
Poet Valerie Bacharach on writing through grief, the power of observation, and writing what you fear
This is a Beginner’s Mind interview, a series that explores the intersection of mindfulness and creative practice. Zen master Shunryū Suzuki Roshi said, “In the beginner’s mind, there are many possibilities; in the expert’s mind, there are few.” This series shines a light on the practices that sustain people in their daily lives and open the path to new possibilities. If you know (or are) a writer, creative person, teacher, or practitioner with practices you’d like to share, just reply to this newsletter to be in touch with me. Subscribe below to make sure you don’t miss any future interviews.✨✨
I met Valerie Bacharach over a decade ago in a Madwomen poetry workshop taught by Nancy Krygowski. Since then, I’ve been struck continually by Valerie’s fiercely generous spirit as a poet, friend, and community member. Valerie has lived through great grief—the loss of her child to an opioid addiction—yet she has not let it consume her. Instead, she has used poetry to survive and to connect with others who are also walking through the fire.
Her first full-length collection of poems, Last Glimpse, came out this fall from Broadstone Books and it is a courageous, lyrical, heartbreaking book. Rachel Mennies says of the book: “In this collection, we mourn alongside the speaker—a “grief-shrouded mother of a son with opioid wings”—as we bear witness to her multigenerational lineage of Jewish trauma and diaspora.” Judith Vollmer names what I see as its heart: “These are poems born of history and diaspora, and cyclical losses, to be sure, but also wonder, which acts as guardian and advisor.”
Read on for a window into Valerie’s writing and mindfulness practices, as well as excellent reading recommendations and wisdom about how to still your mind and keep going. ⚡⚡
What are your writing practices? Do you have any rituals or habits that help you?
I try to write every day, even if it’s only to do a bit of revision or editing. I have lots of journals as I like to write longhand. Somehow, the movement of the pen in my hand, seeing ink on the page, allows words or phrases to flow more easily. I like to use pens with green or purple ink, find it gives some bright color on the page.
I keep rocks I have collected on my desk; quartz, lapis, jasper. Often I hold one for a few minutes, sit still and quiet my mind. I find this soothing.
I also like order, so I keep poetry books I am currently reading in a neat stack on my desk (although sometimes I feel guilty, like I’m not reading them quickly enough). I keep pens in a mug, a couple of family photos nearby, a coaster for my coffee or glass of water.
What are your mindfulness practices?
I am a morning person, so I find watching the sun rise, sipping coffee while looking at leaves or birds or sky helps me focus. I swim three or four mornings a week at 6 a.m. at the Squirrel Hill Jewish Community Center in Pittsburgh.
That half hour of being immersed in water, of feeling weightless, is vital for me. There is no noise but the light splash of water. It allows me the space and time to just be.
I also find that walking centers me. I don’t listen to podcasts or music when I walk. I need the quiet.
Do you have a mantra or motto related to your creative/mindfulness practices/life? What piece of wisdom do you have on a post-it note to help you remember it?
I think of what my Madwomen teacher, Nancy Krygowski often says:
Write what you fear.
I write a lot about grief and loss and it is easy to focus on language and skirt around the edges of what I am really trying to write. But in order to get to the heart of it, I have to face those fears.
I think of poetry as my bridge across the abyss.
What helps when you get stuck?
I need to get up from the chair and move. I go outside, take a walk, often in Homewood Cemetery, which is a place of great beauty, hills and old trees, deer and hawks. I want to listen to the wind, the birds, no conversation.
Sometimes I find that doing things around the house like folding laundry or prepping food for dinner helps me clear my mind. Mundane tasks that can help language flow.
One of the best ways for me to get un-stuck is to read, especially poetry. Often someone else’s poems will connect, light a spark in my brain, show me a way to write what I have been unable to articulate.
Are there any books / writers / teachers that have been transformative for you that you would recommend to readers?
Many of the poets I have grown to love have been introduced to me by my poetry teachers, both in my Madwomen workshops and during the course of my MFA. They include Catherine Barnett, Jessica Jacobs, Ellen Bass, Arthur Sze, Ilya Kaminsky, Ama Codjoe, Ada Limon, Natalie Diaz, Layli Long Soldier, Philip Levine, Gregory Orr, Kamiko Hahn…I could go on and on. There are many wonderful poets out there. I think it is important, helpful, to choose a book by someone you might not have ever read, someone whose style is different from yours. It can be transformative to read how someone else sees the world in different ways than I do. I find reading these poets also helps me improve my craft by noticing theirs; how they break a line, use form, metaphor, unexpected words.
There are also some wonderful craft books that have helped me. These include A Poetry Handbook by Mary Oliver, Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott, and The Art of Series from Graywolf Press, which includes books about the poetic line, description, and writing about death. One of my mentors from my MFA program, Gerry LaFemina, encouraged us to have lots of reference books on our shelves. I have dictionaries, books on trees, flowers, birds, musical terms, anything that helps me add to my writing vocabulary.
My Madwomen teacher, Nancy Krygowski, encouraged me to keep a word notebook, which is simply a place to keep lists of words I like. I have lists of spices, colors, types of butterflies, adjectives and adverbs, place names, etc. I page through this notebook often when I’m stuck and it helps me discover some unexpected word that works in the poem I’m trying to write.
How have creative and/or mindfulness practices helped you in your life?
I came to writing poetry later in my life. I was always a reader, but never really wrote aside from school assignments. My younger son died 15 years ago, at age 26, an opioid addict. Life for my family became defined by “before and after.” I remember reading Joan Didion’s The Year of Magical Thinking shortly after Nathan died, thinking “yes, that’s what I’m feeling.” I realized how words could help define and explain complex emotional feelings.
I began writing, poorly at first, then found Carlow University’s Madwomen in the Attic workshops. Through them, not only did I begin to learn the craft of poetry, but I also found a community of women who encouraged and supported my writing. That led me to get my MFA from Carlow. Finding language to express myself, my life, the world around me, helped me to live each day, to stand up, to breathe. It helped me realize how many people can be touched by someone else’s words.
I also find that swimming and walking help me to focus, clear my mind of the daily clutter we all carry. I think of what the poet Jane Hirshfield says, of how grief and joy live side by side, and we must acknowledge both. My writing, my attempts at mindfulness, help open me to those brief moments of joy every day.
Advice from Valerie
Observe what is right outside your door. Take notes, simple lines such as “a cardinal on the fence” “the taste of ripe figs.” Anything, everyday things. Don’t worry about form or line breaks, just write. It is surprising what comes from these notes. I have small journals that I carry with me everywhere, from the grocery store to when my husband and I go hiking. These observations often make their way into my poems.
Truly, the best advice I ever received was to be gentle with myself.
Valerie Bacharach is a graduate of Carlow University’s MFA program and a proud member of Carlow University’s Madwomen in the Attic writing workshops. Her book, Last Glimpse, was published by Broadstone Books in August 2024. Her poem “Birthday Portrait, Son,” published by the Ilanot Review, was selected for inclusion in 2023 Best Small Fictions. She has been nominated for three Pushcart Prizes and two Best of the Net.
For more from Valerie and her new book Last Glimpse
You can follow Valerie on Instagram (@valbacharach) and on Facebook.
Order her book, Last Glimpse from Broadstone Books
Watch Valerie read her poem, “Birthday Portrait, Son” on Youtube (originally published in The Ilanot Review).
Read this profile about Valerie and her book at Pittsburgh Jewish Chronicle.
Order Valerie’s poetry chapbook, Ghost-Mother, here, and her other chapbook, Fireweed, here.
Read this powerful elegy Valerie wrote for her son, Nathan, at Vox Populi.
Clicking the heart to “like” this post or adding a comment is a great and free way to support this newsletter, and help Valerie’s work and wisdom find readers.
Be Where You Are is a newsletter about how to use writing and mindfulness to live more fully where you are. If you value this work, please text it to a friend, or consider a paid subscription (a few dollars a month) to help me keep it going. 🩵 You can also find me on Instagram or Facebook or find more info at my website. Thank you for reading!⚡⚡
Absolutely love this, especially movement as mindfulness and as a cure for getting stuck. I'm also a cemetery wanderer for writing and creativity, though Allegheny is my cemetery of choice.
I love the ideas Valerie shares here - I’ll have to try them out