You gave written so many wonderful essays, Emily, but this one is a WOW. It's moving and grounded and so real. I love how you take this "everyday" challenging moment and push it into a larger, deeper, spiritual realm that then touches on the anger (and the necessary, difficult response of tenderness) in our sad, chaotic, cruel world. Perfectly written and balanced. This essay was a gift this morning. ❤️
I so appreciate you writing this. There are certain parenting moments that just seem like a specially-targeted pressure cooker of forces, and it’s so hard to parse them out and feel them, especially when you’re already exhausted/depleted, and then deal from a place of compassion for yourself and others. It’s a spiritual practice for sure. I hope it brings you some comfort for me to tell you that I see you and I definitely feel this too. 💙
Emily, your beautifully written essay absolutely transports me back to that time and what it felt like to be in the bathroom--or anywhere else--struggling to feel a sense of control and being so completely exhausted that it feels like time stops and you will be stuck in that power struggle forever. My repeated realization (because I kept forgetting and trying) that I could not control my child and force her to do anything scared me so much. Your essay shows how tending to your own emotions is such a gift--to yourself, to your child, your family and the world outside your home, because I believe love and kindness ripples out from our small actions. Which our world desperately needs! Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you so much for this, Katie! I really appreciate your sharing that feeling like it will go on forever. Exactly. Thank you for your kind words about this and yes our world desperately needs love and kindness. It is not a small thing. ❤️
Thank you so much, Megan! I like that idea and think I’ll print it out too. It’s incredibly hard to remember (maybe a tattoo would be better for me? 😅)
Thank you for sharing this practice! I'm going to be thinking about you during bedtime, potty time, and those first few minutes after school when I want to melt into the ground and shout "Well then you do it!" Solidarity!
Em...How beautiful ...your raw moment by moment honesty...felt it all in every cell of my body. It took me back to similar struggles in my life...so real...(There is so much suffering/anger/rage in the world in the name of "needing" an "other" to do something so "I" can be happy.) And then going through the pain of reliving it during every editing revisit...ugh! All leading to your exquisite wrap-up..."If I could recognize my anger, I could recognize my daughter too." Such deep wisdom. Your beautiful spirit has and will always amaze me! Love ya!
This was a great essay, Emily! To answer your question: I tend to need some time to myself, and I make this clear to whoever I'm upset with or angry at, so we can talk about things later. This time allows me to process a bit more why I'm feeling that way because sometimes I really don't know and need time to think. Once I have some time to think on it, I'm able to approach that person again in a much more reasonable and calm state of mind, where I'm able to listen to them and their feelings too (instead of just focusing on my anger).
Thanks, Hadley! And, thanks for sharing how you respond. What you say about first figuring out what you're actually feeling before you try to talk through it is SO wise. I am the queen of defensiveness if I haven't done that first even super briefly. Thank you for this ❤️
You gave written so many wonderful essays, Emily, but this one is a WOW. It's moving and grounded and so real. I love how you take this "everyday" challenging moment and push it into a larger, deeper, spiritual realm that then touches on the anger (and the necessary, difficult response of tenderness) in our sad, chaotic, cruel world. Perfectly written and balanced. This essay was a gift this morning. ❤️
Thank you so so much for reading and for your kind words about this, Sharon. This means a great deal to me, esp coming from you. Thank you ❤️
I so appreciate you writing this. There are certain parenting moments that just seem like a specially-targeted pressure cooker of forces, and it’s so hard to parse them out and feel them, especially when you’re already exhausted/depleted, and then deal from a place of compassion for yourself and others. It’s a spiritual practice for sure. I hope it brings you some comfort for me to tell you that I see you and I definitely feel this too. 💙
Thank you so much for this, Violeta. I do appreciate this and esp bringing up the exhaustion/depletion piece, which is so deep and real. 💗
Emily, your beautifully written essay absolutely transports me back to that time and what it felt like to be in the bathroom--or anywhere else--struggling to feel a sense of control and being so completely exhausted that it feels like time stops and you will be stuck in that power struggle forever. My repeated realization (because I kept forgetting and trying) that I could not control my child and force her to do anything scared me so much. Your essay shows how tending to your own emotions is such a gift--to yourself, to your child, your family and the world outside your home, because I believe love and kindness ripples out from our small actions. Which our world desperately needs! Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you so much for this, Katie! I really appreciate your sharing that feeling like it will go on forever. Exactly. Thank you for your kind words about this and yes our world desperately needs love and kindness. It is not a small thing. ❤️
This was beautiful, Emily. Thank you for sharing. I think I want to print out that Thich Nhat Hanh quote and hang it on my wall
Thank you so much, Megan! I like that idea and think I’ll print it out too. It’s incredibly hard to remember (maybe a tattoo would be better for me? 😅)
It's hard to remember anything when you're beyond your physical capacity. But you did! And sometimes I do too <3
Thank you for sharing this practice! I'm going to be thinking about you during bedtime, potty time, and those first few minutes after school when I want to melt into the ground and shout "Well then you do it!" Solidarity!
Ahhhh solidarity right back! 😭♥️
I love your essay! Wish I'd known it when my daughter was young.
Thank you so much for this, Susan! <3
Em...How beautiful ...your raw moment by moment honesty...felt it all in every cell of my body. It took me back to similar struggles in my life...so real...(There is so much suffering/anger/rage in the world in the name of "needing" an "other" to do something so "I" can be happy.) And then going through the pain of reliving it during every editing revisit...ugh! All leading to your exquisite wrap-up..."If I could recognize my anger, I could recognize my daughter too." Such deep wisdom. Your beautiful spirit has and will always amaze me! Love ya!
Thank you so much, Aunt Connie ❤️ I appreciate knowing how this resonated for you, and deeply appreciate your kind words. Love you too ❤️
This was a great essay, Emily! To answer your question: I tend to need some time to myself, and I make this clear to whoever I'm upset with or angry at, so we can talk about things later. This time allows me to process a bit more why I'm feeling that way because sometimes I really don't know and need time to think. Once I have some time to think on it, I'm able to approach that person again in a much more reasonable and calm state of mind, where I'm able to listen to them and their feelings too (instead of just focusing on my anger).
Thanks, Hadley! And, thanks for sharing how you respond. What you say about first figuring out what you're actually feeling before you try to talk through it is SO wise. I am the queen of defensiveness if I haven't done that first even super briefly. Thank you for this ❤️